Life can be tough and bad things happen even to good people and if something painful happens It’s exhausting to fight reality, and it doesn’t work. Perhaps your boyfriend cheated on you or your girlfriend told someone a secret you had between you that was important to you. Of course, worse things can happen, losing your job, the death of a loved one but refusing to accept the truth of what happened doesn’t change anything, it just makes it more painful. You often hear people saying they ‘can’t bear’ something, or ‘it’s not fair’, ‘I don’t believe it’ ‘kids shouldn’t die before their parents’. You’d almost think that by refusing to accept the truth that it will stop it from being true. Maybe we think that by accepting the truth it means we agree to what has happened. No, accepting does not mean you agree or approve.
When life brings pain it makes it had to accept reality. None of us wants to experience sadness, pain, betrayal, loss or disappointment. The truth is, those experiences are all part of this thing called life and if you try to reject or resist the emotions that come with the negative or bad things that happen, you only cause yourself to suffer along with the pain. You can create even more misery and make the emotion even bigger by thinking in a certain way and by refusing to accept the events. You can ease the suffering and pain by practising radical acceptance.
How Radical Acceptance Can Help You Improve Your Financial Position
What is Radical Acceptance?
How Does This Equate With A Financial Problem?
How To Accept a Financial Crisis So You Can Move On
So What Can Be Done to Get Back on Track Financially?
Fully accept yourself
Acknowledge the reality of you
Practice honesty, radically
Acknowledge your role, admit your mistakes
Own your results and have courage
Rely on your competencies
Ditch your biases
Accept that pleasure and pain are both a part of life
Plan to reach your financial or life goal
What is Radical Acceptance?
The big message here is that radical acceptance doesn’t mean you approve of what is happening or that you agree with it, that’s a myth. But you’ve gotta stop pounding the wall. Better to lean your body against the wall gently and then slowly slide to the floor, breathe gently, let your face soften, open up your hands and just for one moment, accept how things are. And then do it all again. The concept of Radical Acceptance is what is says, radically accepting all the way, with your heart, your soul, your mind, and your body. It also means opening yourself up to experience fully the reality of what’s happening right here and right now. The core idea is acknowledging, recognising, and naming what exists without any judgment, grudges, sorrow, anger, fear, bitterness, resentment, or meanness. You acknowledge what’s happened or is happening, because fighting reality will only intensify your emotional reaction.
If action is necessary, falling into despair and being passive, feeling shame, deserved or not, or guilt, are all the result of not radically accepting ‘what is’. These emotions and overreactions or under reactions are often the result of accepting facts that are distorted, just facts but not evidence. Accept only the basic facts that need to be radically accepted. This full and deep acceptance of reality in the moment will eventually bring about a sense of peace, and with repeated practice give you the confidence and energy to pick yourself up and find a solution to whatever is the current crisis.
How Does This Equate With A Financial Problem?
Radical Acceptance is useful when you’re in any situation, financial or otherwise, and you’d rather be somewhere else so you panic, deny, make excuses and generally get nowhere until you sit down and do the sums and accept that you’re on the verge of bankruptcy, or something less severe. Face facts, they can’t be changed by worrying or running around like a chook with its head off and getting nowhere. You’ll be amazed at the feelings of relief once you accept what’s happening. Knowing and practising the skills of radically accepting how things really are will reduce your suffering and clear your head so you can take some sensible steps to rectify the financial woes with which you’re dealing and free yourself from the burden.
How To Accept a Financial Crisis So You Can Move On
Here’s an example: A man is facing bankruptcy but it’s the fault of his partner who embezzled money from the business. So, the man in question remortgaged his home to save the business once before and he’s used up all his Superannuation and savings, borrowed money from his parents and the bank and still it’s not enough to clear him. Accepting that he might go bankrupt and lose his business, his house and his marriage and he will have to take the kids out of private schools is critical to his financial and physical survival.
The man now feels like a total failure, and has considered ending it all rather than facing the embarrassment and pain of loss. He blames himself for going into partnership with an embezzler, but without radically accepting reality he won’t fully accept his financial situation and won’t learn skills he otherwise would not have had to learn to get through the crisis. Tantrums, getting drunk or bullying the family of his absconded business partner will only make matters worse. Lying in bed not wanting to face the day and giving up or giving in can be just as problematic for this man and will only speed up his business failure.
So What Can Be Done to Get Back on Track Financially?
Radical Acceptance is the path to misery and the road out of hell. To build a business up again from scratch or to get back on track after a financial crisis is painful, but pain is part of life. That’s a fact worth accepting. And building a business worth working at and a life worth living takes quite a bit of work, but if you believe you can’t do it, it will be an almost impossible task. It’s so much easier if you believe you can do it, and the chances are so much higher if you’ll actually accept that you are in financial trouble even if it was not your fault then you will build your business and your life back up again. Remember, the rules of the universe are the rules of the universe(1). Here are some radical acceptance tips:
Fully accept yourself
Acceptance means you value unconditionally every aspect and part of what makes you the person you are. Acknowledge the good and also anything that might need improvement. Yep, it’s hard.
Acknowledge the reality of you
It can be hard to face the reality of yourself, but if you can, you’ll be much happier. It’s practical and has a purpose and will help you to be wise in choosing your goals and helps you to reach them.
Practice honesty, radically
You can start to powerfully create a new financial future if you can admit to your pretences. If you continue to deny your present reality – more especially if it’s bad – won’t make it disappear so deal with the bad stuff, go through it to reach the good stuff. Only you have to practice.
Acknowledge your role, admit your mistakes
You have to own any role you might have played in getting where you are now to fully accept your reality. Identify what you might have done or not done to nurture either failure or success and once you know you can begin working towards the right steps to take. Just remember, unless you admit to the problem you can’t fix it or see it as a learning experience. Then decide what’s valuable to you and set your mind to achieving it.
Own your results and have courage
When you accept your reality it means owning the good parts as well as the bad. Own all of your outcomes and it will teach you to do better next time round, to see failure as learning.
Don’t let fears or worries about what others will think get in the way. Be willing to do what you think is best and simply reflect on any feedback along the way.
Rely on your competencies
Radically accepting your reality isn’t just a matter of staring in the mirror and pointing out your faults and insecurities. To face your reality, try counting all your positives. Make a list of the things you do well, your strengths, and values, and what you’ve accomplished. This will help improve your positive attitude towards yourself in a real way.
Ditch your biases
Your biases will blind you to most realities and ignoring them won’t make them go away so it’s best to understand them and let them go. This will free you from getting caught up in a business or a life others think you should have rather than one you’re suited for.
Accept that pleasure and pain are both a part of life
Wade in and accept challenges. Don’t shy away and choose comfort and familiarity because struggling and feeling pain is all part of life and a challenge can lead the way to great achievements and success.
Plan to reach your financial or life goal
Plan to Include the steps you’ll take to create your new financial reality, but don’t make them huge steps. Break them down into small goals you can achieve one at a time to build your feelings of self-worth and confidence. Once you have a plan with set goals, your new reality can start to grow but remember, you won’t get anywhere with a new reality unless you let the old one go. When you’re ready, perhaps you’ll follow the investment property tips you read about, or consider crowd-funding or a government small business grant.
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References
Author’s Bio
Alex Morrison has been an avid digital marketer in Melbourne for over 10 years. In this time he has worked with a range of businesses giving him an in depth understanding of many different industries including finance, health
care and home improvement. As the owner of Integral Media he is now utilising his knowledge and experience with his rapidly increasing client portfolio to help them achieve their business goals.